20 Aug 2007

ACPO are busy officers!

When we moan about senior officers who can't make a decision, perhaps we should take into consideration how busy they are actually making those decisions? You can almost hear them muttering to themselves like the little Eskimo on that banking advert... Questions, Questions? So many Questions!

I heard a story on the canteen grapevine the other day which is apparently gospel (or the majority of it is) and it goes something like this:-

  • Traffic Sgt (Respectful but enquiring tone): Sir, you authorised this planning
    and policy document for the major public event, did you actually read it?
  • ACPO Officer (Sarcastic): Obviously... How else would I know what I was signing?
  • Traffic Sgt (Confused): The Appendix covering resources for the event clearly makes mention of using the motorcycle section for traffic control etc?
  • ACPO Officer (Dismayed): Yes, obviously, we always use motorcycles this type of event, how else would we be able to manage such a large public attendance and all the associated traffic?
  • Traffic Sgt (Confused): But Sir, we don't have any motorcycles now?
  • ACPO Officer (Confused): What? When did that happen? Who authorised it?
  • Traffic Sgt (Smug): You did!
  • ACPO Officer (Shocked): What? How the hell did that happen? I don't remember that? I certainly can't have signed that off. (Less worried) There's no way I'd have signed after reading the supporting documentation?
  • Traffic Sgt (Elated): You did and... You obviously didn't!!! Must press on Sir, I've got that report to do for you about the 2 extra free leave days per year courtesy of the force. You know the one you asked for as a method of rewarding the troops for the hard work they do?
  • ACPO Officer (Head in hands): Did I? (Deathly pause) Sgt. Come back! Sgt? Wait a minute... Sgt???

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